from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Randomize
