Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
