My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
