dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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