just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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