Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
