Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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