a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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