I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
