Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i dont even know how to be here
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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