Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
