just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
