I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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