And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I have fence marks all over my body
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
