I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
