don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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