The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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