Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
