drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
