Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
