Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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