Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
