well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
