Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
