Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My life is pants optional.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
