so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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