I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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