Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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