Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
