I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
