you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
