so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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