He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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