I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
