Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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