maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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