he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
