if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
