she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
