'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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