Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I understand Curling. That high.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
