Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
