I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
