My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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