I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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