first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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