He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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