Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we made out on top of his cat.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she pinky promised me she was 18
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
