mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
