My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
you never un-have a 4some
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
