idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
