Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I want a musical about memes.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
